Rhythms vs Routines
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I have a love/hate relationship with routines. They provide me with structure and boundaries, but can also feel stifling and restricting to the part of me that enjoys distracting, new things. My neurodivergent clients give me similar feedback, and maybe that is your experience too. You want all the benefits of a routine without feeling like you’re tied down. In today’s blog, I want to talk about a change of mindset that may help.
During the walks I take around my neighbourhood, usually in the early hours of the evening, my dog and I have had an epiphany. Here is what I see: The bus, pulling over at a stop just as I walk past, a young man and his headphones dismounting, just a few people left in the lit interior as the bus heads towards the end of its run. A turbaned older man, pulling into his driveway and starting to unpack his car of cleaning supplies, and his adult son coming out to help. The smells of my neighbourhood – curries, stir-fries, barbeques. Through windows I see people gathering for that one time of the day they can all be together. I pass a house where every night at 6.30pm, a guy exits through the driveway, esky in hand, for his night shift in some sort of trade. Every night, I pass a husband and wife going the opposite direction. They are elderly, non-English speaking and wear hats, even though it is dark. She talks a lot. He follows behind, listening and occasionally grunting. My tiny dog manages to incite barking from every dog we go past, a cacophony of woofing accompanying us as we stroll. And all of these things are a comfort to me. Why? Because seeing the rhythms of other people’s lives reminds me that even in the midst of whatever upheaval and uncertainty is going on in life, rhythm can be both grounding and freeing.
To be honest, I’ve often viewed my daily routine as a little stifling – balancing motherhood and work and all the things can feel like I’m stuck on repeat, day after day. But the more I walk and watch, the more I realise it’s those daily rhythms that enable the music of every day to come together. The things you do that help you, your children, your partner, your loved ones, feel safe and secure and well. So I challenge you today to let go of resenting your routines and instead, relish the rhythms, knowing that they are the powerful beat of your life’s work. Allow a little flexibility in, feel the magic, let your feet move, but come back to those core habits that allow you the space to dance.
“For the rhythm of life is a powerful beat, puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet. Rhythm on the inside, rhythm on the street and the rhythm of life is a powerful beat” (Dorothy Fields and Cy Coleman, from the musical “Sweet Charity”).
