Book Club: "Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle" by Emily and Amelia Nagoski

I think most of us would recognize periods of our lives when a deep exhaustion has settled on us, to the point where we feel numb, and every step feels like you are walking in deep, sucking mud. Burnout is a modern epidemic affecting many of us, especially as women juggling numerous roles and responsibilities. The many hidden cultural expectations of women, of being perfect mothers, partners, employees/employers, housekeepers, and then looking great and being fit and healthy and remembering all the things….the list goes on. It’s exhausting.  

 In "Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle," Emily Nagoski, alongside her twin sister Amelia Nagoski, offers a comprehensive and compassionate guide to understanding and combating burnout. I really enjoyed reading this one, with its easy-to-understand language and humourous stories throughout. This book provides invaluable insights and practical strategies, making it a must-read for anyone feeling overwhelmed by stress.

Understanding Burnout

 Emily and Amelia Nagoski define burnout as the state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Whether your stressors are small-but-continuous, or traumatic stress events, they emphasize that burnout is not just about being overworked but also about how our bodies and minds handle stress. The book highlights that many traditional approaches to dealing with stress fail to address the underlying stress cycle, leaving individuals feeling perpetually exhausted.

The Stress Cycle Explained

 One of the book's key concepts is the stress cycle. The Nagoski sisters explain that stress is a physiological response to perceived threats, and it involves a series of chemical and physical reactions in the body. To effectively manage stress, it’s crucial to complete the stress cycle to avoid our bodies getting caught in a continuous loop of stress — something that often doesn’t happen in our daily lives. How often have you found yourself chowing down on the choccies and getting lost in a super-scrolling session after a stressful day? News flash: This is not the recommended way of dealing with stress.

The authors present several evidence-based strategies to help complete the stress cycle, including:

1. Physical Activity: Exercise is one of the most effective ways to signal to your body that the threat has passed.

2. Breathing Exercises/mindfulness: Deep, slow breaths can calm the nervous system.

3. Positive Social Interactions: Connecting with loved ones can help reduce stress hormones. Hug a human or an animal!

4. Laughter and Affection: Engaging in activities that bring joy can help complete the stress cycle. Remember that thing you were obsessed with doing as a kid? Remember the freedom and joy you felt when you did it? Go do that, or something similar.

Addressing Societal Expectations

 "Burnout" also tackles the societal pressures and expectations that contribute to stress, particularly for women. The book discusses the "Human Giver Syndrome," a term the authors use to describe the societal expectation for women to prioritize others' needs over their own. This expectation can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Emily and Amelia encourage women to challenge these societal norms and to prioritize self-care without guilt.

Practical Strategies for Managing Burnout

 The Nagoski sisters provide a variety of practical strategies for managing and preventing burnout:

1. Self-Compassion: Treating oneself with kindness and understanding during difficult times. Be as nice to yourself as you would be to a friend.

2. Setting Boundaries: Learning to say no, in order to protect your time and energy. This is not easy but will come with practice: Top tip: You don’t have to give a reason when you say no.

3. Rest and Recovery: Prioritizing sleep and relaxation to rejuvenate the body and mind.

4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices that promote present-moment awareness and reduce stress.

Personal Reflections and Stories

 Throughout the book, the authors share personal stories and reflections that make the content relatable and engaging. Their honest accounts of their own struggles with burnout add depth and authenticity to the book. These stories serve as powerful reminders that we are not alone in our experiences and that it is possible to recover and thrive after burnout.

Conclusion

"Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle" by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski is a powerful and insightful resource for anyone feeling overwhelmed by stress. The book offers a comprehensive understanding of burnout and provides practical, evidence-based strategies for managing stress and completing the stress cycle. It challenges societal norms and encourages self-compassion, making it an essential read for women everywhere.

If you’re interested in exploring how counselling can help you manage burnout and stress, I’m here to support you on your journey. Counselling can help you let go of your worries in a safe, supported space, create plans for recovery strategies, and explore your values and priorities to help you create space for a joyful, healthy life. I look forward to connecting with you.